bill handley

Im a mess.
im up and down up and down

i think if my mother� was home more often
and i didnt spend so much time alone
id be alot more normal
and not such a freaking lunatic.

because i just stay up late all night
doing really weird stuff.
and getting really jealous of tv shows.
its really unhealthy.

fuck divorce
and fuck 12 hour shifts

this is depressing.
but there was this kid at school today
and he was new.
and he had the littlest legs
and he came up to me and otis and asked if we had cigarettes
his name is patrick
and hes real cute.
and hes from florida.
and has a huge nice car
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Hello, im done with my esi alr so now goes to my major painting okokokokok aiyah, its painting lah :(

anw, pimplesapos; all ovr my forehead now. Iapos;m chasing Das to get me the mud mask thingy frm bodyshop so i can ... Heh and tonight i need to squeeze my brain juice for my final layout and die die chop chop must show lao shi tmr :) i need discipline and motivation. Motivation like pushing me to do my work, NOT CALL ME AND CHIT-CHAT WITH ME HAHAHAH (YOU KNW WHO YOUapos;RE) okay okay, on my list of holiday is --- hahah super

cant wait for duane and shuk to come bck frm melb.

but first of all, i need to get my ass down to painting maj hohohooohohohooo eh what else???? ohyeaaaa, iapos;m quite happy today, bcos i dontknw why also.

yes, okaybyebye. I love everyone out there okayokayokayokay exclaimation mark x1000000000000000 fullstop
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happy 20th jewel. weapos;re gna to sneak out and pretend that everything in this world is beautiful. We would just lie here and watch the world goes by(in your words). Nothing special really, just another entry trying to telling you subtle that youapos;ve been the one of the best. Thank you for everything, jewel. And you know you deserved to be happy just like anybody else.�

To end things, have a great day ahead later and thank you for being such a wonderful friend.

with lots of love,
me

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OH Ya,,and hi boy,heehee,,GD LUCK 4 YR O LEVELS,,HAHA,,AND HOW HAVE U BEEN WID TENNIS,,STILL AS GD OR BAD,,HAHA...WILL HAVE FREAKIN LONG TIME TO PLAY WHEN I GET BACK,,HAHA IM SO GONNA THRASH YR ASS,,UU WATCH,,HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....OK IM LAMIN ABT...ANYWAYS IM SURE LIFE IS GREAT 4 U IN TIME TO COME,,COS THERE WONT B ANY MORE STUDYIN.,BUT THEN AGAIN U WILL MISS OUT A LITTLE ON TENNIS,,OH WELLS SEE U,,HEEHEE,,,AND HI CHER,DO U EVER READ MY BLOG,,,HOW U DOIN...SEEMS LIKE U ARE ENJOYIN LIFE SINCE EXAMS ARE OVER AND ARE U HAPPY ABT YER RESULTS,.,OK BYE U PEEPS...

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brighthouse field clearwater fl

Things have been bad. I ran up to the bank tonight to deposit a midnight check from Starport funds to my personal account. I had to get the money in there before things like my mortgage payment were automatically deducted. I had to funnel some money into the crashed stock market to support my margin debt. Iapos;ve cut it in half. Hopefully I can ride the rest of it through the eminent recovery. The stock market will double in dollar value in the next two years without question.

I also used my credit card to buy into various sports betting sites. There is a sure thing happening tomorrow. I have a few hundred dollars on it. Itapos;s a college football game, the Virgina Tech Hokies vs. Boston College. The BC Eagles are favored by the oddsmakers by 3 points for some inexplicable reason. I took the Hokies for huge money.
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come up with a business name

How I know my period is coming: I get really really depressed for a day.

Whatapos;s funny is that the bad mood didnapos;t start today until late. I was feeling kinda blah all day, but when Cecile called me tonight expecting me to be able to finish and print and drop off the session diaries for our project by noon tomorrow it all came crashing down a bit. I do feel bad because I keep assuring her Iapos;m working on them, but I havenapos;t started them yet. If I knew that she was one of those people whoapos;s ridiculously on top of their shit when we were starting the project I never would have volunteered to drag her down with my procrastinatory ways. And Iapos;m REALLY bad in that way. The project isnapos;t even due for another two weeks, but already she wants these done so we donapos;t have to worry about them while we mix the track.

So thatapos;s what started it, but then when I (procrastinating) checked MySpace, I noticed Paco had put up a new picture. Itapos;s a really good picture of him, and it made me start to miss him terribly. Iapos;ve only known him since the middle of freaking July and havenapos;t seen him in person since the first weekend in September. Itapos;s ridiculous, and I really just want a hug from him right now. (Haha, funny how Iapos;m still so innocent in my needs.) Long distance sucks balls. Now Iapos;m in my RAapos;s room (next door) because Iapos;m friends with him and his roommates and donapos;t particularly want to be alone while my roommate is at the guy sheapos;s datingapos;s room. Iapos;m trying to hold it together and apparently itapos;s working because he just came in and didnapos;t say anything even though Iapos;ve started crying about six times even since I started this.

Well, back to working on those damn session diaries...
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Linaapos;ll be here in less than a week.

All of a sudden all that time waiting, all that time that was far too long, has become not nearly enough, as I start scurrying around trying to get everything done. Clean this place up, fix a few things, get far enough ahead on my classwork that I can afford to take a vacation...

No matter where I am, I always sort of feel like Iapos;m trying to get my head above water. If I could just right myself, instead of grasping for things at the last second, all might be well.

This weekend, nevertheless, looks to be promising. Just need to make it one more day

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